Pressure

The pressure during a season of change and transition is so real. It feels like my heart will burst, it feels like the butterflies of anxiety and excitement in my belly will either be the courage to fly and be transformed or slowly melt away into the darkness. The fear that the transformation won’t happen is real, the fear that the feeling of the fear might disappear and you will just be left with emptiness is real.

I recently emailed a new friend who I was reconnecting with after these winter months. She had come across Feathers and Whirlwinds and was such an encouragement for me to just keep writing. I wrote to her about the past season and described it like this.

“…It’s been a deep and long winter. Not so much a depressed one, but one of depth and weightiness whose pressure is bringing forth something very new to experience.”

It’s almost like the season became personable, a tangible friend I have walked with, and indeed, despite its hard work must be a friend of faith as much as spring will be. In my description of pressure and depression I actually am more tuned to their dynamics as force or energy, without just the emotional influence those words might usually evoke.

Here comes the science bit. You see, it’s a physics thing and my friend enlightened me to some of the ideas from this world. The depression of pressure can be danced with the emotional and into the dimensional. It doesn’t mean that the emotions disappear but they become more fully recognised and experienced. The fear is real and the joy is real and the sadness is real and the love is real and their energy forces are all real. The weight/mass of something creates a well of pressure, and a sense of something being held, all at the same time and that’s what knits it all together. This is how he put it.

“How we imagine the weight/mass of concepts/thoughts/emotions/seasons (I added the seasons bit) will act the same way. It’s about the weight/mass being dimensional and how a well is created from these forces interacting. Spiritual matters and ideas that have mass/weight will attract others and will either orbit and/or divert other objects off their course.”

How we react to pressure and what affects our heart/belly/mind space all have to interact so that we can know the well within our heart space, feel the holding and the pressure into something new. The forces behind all this will set us on to a trajectory into a new kind of space in time.

To put it simply, pressure is dimensional and is about the kind of “well” can potentially be created. We can’t stop the pressure but we can enter the energy or even whirlwind of its notion. Pressure keeps things in place and to me is this a balanced sphere of push,pull, spirit, energy and depth. In the real life how we manage pressure, and equally try not to manage it, can come down to some necessary self care, finding helpful boundaries that usually involve an internal conversation, and a renewing of our mind through new habits and thought patterns, and well, just naming it for what it is. Pressure. And breathe.

Side note: Singing that song, “It is well with my soul”. The play on words gives a whole new idea to work with now. I might start singing, “there’s a well in my soul”.